Father’s Day is Hard

For many of us, holidays can be difficult. The reasons behind that difficulty vary from person to person. Family issues, an anniversary of something.

For me, the reason normally lies around the idea of my father. The worst holiday of all, though, is Father’s Day. It comes around every year, and every year, I’m never fully prepared for it. Whether your father isn’t in the picture anymore, he died, or maybe he just isn’t what he’s supposed to be, I’m sure many of you can understand where I’m coming from.

It’s not necessarily the holiday in general that is upsetting. It’s the building up to it. You can’t turn on the TV without seeing a well paid actor hand-in-hand with his actor daughter on a commercial without thinking “That will never be me.”

It’s sitting on your couch the day of Father’s Day, knowing your friends are all out to dinner with their great dads. You wonder what you’d order at that Mexican restaurant if things had been different in your life.

It’s not being able to scroll through social media that day to see everyone post about their amazing fathers. Because why can’t you be making those posts too?

I’ve had to deal with a few years of these upsetting feelings. It gets easier. Less angsty. Less “I hate him.” Less sad.

But, for those of you whose hearts are hurting on this holiday for whatever your reason may be, understand you don’t have to spend all of Father’s Day under your covers in sadness.

I’ve discovered a few ways you can combat the I-Hate-Father’s-Day-Blues, so I’ve decided to share them with you.

-Movies. Lots of movies. Watch the Jason Sudekis comedy movies, that never have big emotions for you to feel other than too much laughter. I watched We’re the Miller’s 4 times one Father’s Day, and it was a great time, lemme tell ya.

-You want to go out to eat? Go. I’m sure there’s someone else you know out there who may be in the same boat as you on this holiday. A close friend, a few family members. It can be a new holiday tradition for you guys. Go to dinner because fathers suck for you all, or go to dinner in remembrance of the father you’re missing on this day.

-Cakes. I know this sounds weird, seeing as you don’t have a father to celebrate with a cake. But hear me out. There are plenty of places around you that customize cakes. Wal-Mart does it. Even Dairy Queen! You can have them write “Missing You, Dad,” or even “F–k You Dad.” Even better? You get to eat this cake all by yourself! What helps our emotional days better than dessert?

-Celebrate the replacement fathers in your life instead. Maybe you have 2 mothers instead, or a grandfather. Or an aunt that helped raise you. For example, I have my mother and my aunt who helped raise me instead. On Father’s Day, they are who I celebrate, even though they aren’t the “male sperm donor.” If you have that person for you, celebrate them.

Most importantly,

-Feel. Let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel on this holiday. Sadness. Anger. Don’t try to pretend it isn’t there, because we all know, that just makes it show up more prominently. If you need to cry about your missing father, cry. Write an angry letter to him and burn it. It’s a hard day.

I hope you make it through your Father’s Day this year, whether it be your first without him, or your 21st. You have a support system behind you, and that support includes me.

This Sunday, if your day becomes too hard to handle, feel free to reach out to me via my email or my social medias. I’ll always be there to talk.

We’ve got this!

Until next time,

Tay💙

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Eating Disorder Hotline: 1-800-931-2237
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Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD
Self-Injury Hotline: 1-800-DONT-CUT
For more hotlines that you or a loved one may need, visit http://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/

If you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are open, and you can private message me at tayloremullins86@gmail.com

Stay alive. 💙